Not What I Want To Hear

It's funny...

Well, not really, but I was just thinking that sometimes I think we have to go through bad things just so we can learn to empathize with each other. That, and maybe there is some other vast and beyond-our-reach plan that I may never know about. You know and I know that most of us are probably living completely - or at least somewhat - different lives than we originally planned we would when we were daydreaming our way through Biology in high school. I thought I would have six kids, live near my parents and send my husband off to work everyday.

WRONG.
First of all, I will admit that I'm not unhappy with the way life turned out. So I live an hour away from my parents - it's not that far (but far enough). And I only have three kids, but it feels like six. And my husband works out of his studio attached to our house. Those aren't the kinds of surprises I was thinking about. More like, I didn't plan on miscarrying twice. I didn't plan on having to have surgery two years ago. I didn't plan on being so stretched and scrapped for time (my own time) that I am, undecidedly, a little jealous of a portion of my mother's life (about five years from the time I was 12 to 17) when she could sit on the couch and fold laundry and watch a show. But now she's more like me, stretched and scrapped for time. We are two busy mothers.

My body sometimes seems like it's out of my control. I can barely drag myself out of bed in the morning to exercise before the kids wake up. In fact, I'm pretty sure I snoozed, like, five times this morning. My teeth are falling apart. I'm hungry all the time, and frankly, I like to snack on chocolate chips and cold cereal (sometimes together - you should try it). My kids have superb amounts of homework that even I complain about, and I'm pretty sure it's because my mind is finally going. Going, going, gone.

My point is, we all have gone through something horrible (probably). It has created an empathy in me that I never knew or thought would exist. I've dealt with enough that I don't judge anymore. Are you one of those moms whose kid screams through your entire grocery store visit and the only way to shut him up is to buy him a cheese stick so you do? Me too. Does he eat half of it before you can pay for it? Me too. And that's when I'm thinking, "You know what would be funny? If I left my wallet in the car." Because I probably did. You too? Welcome to the club.

Thanks to AlysonWhitaker.BlogSpot.com for the pic.

When I hear women talk about their indecision about having children, about all the horrible things that come with it and that make things hard, trying to pro and con the whole situation, I feel them. If you don't want to have a child, that's your choice. If you want to have ten, that's your choice. What's important is that we're not pushing our decisions on each other. If I had ten kids? Well, that never would have happened, but I'm pretty sure I'd be institutionalized. If I have none? I would probably feel a little empty. But that's me. Not you.  And if you want to have kids and can't? I'm so sorry. I will never know how that feels. If you want to be a surrogate mother? That's amazing. I couldn't do it. I'm too selfish. Sorry. But I probably know some people who would. Totally tough women.

Again, I want to point to the Kickstarter program for the Immortality monument. This is important to me. It's what I want to share with the world, what I hope for it; that we can all become empathetic of each other, that we can understand each other, and that we can show the world that we are strong, courageous, and amazing. Visit and/or donate at https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/945510695/immortality.